DISCOVERING CLARITY THROUGH CURIOSITY

A Nut Shop Adventure – A Part of My Infinite Journey

I find that curiosity is one of the best tools to help navigate the sometimes confusing but always interesting turns in life. In fact, I have always been able to look back upon the most challenging times and identify how curiosity led me through them to greater clarity and personal growth. None was more interesting, however, than when I owned a nut shop in California.

Taking on this entrepreneurial role brought me face-to-face with a reality very different from the one I had envisioned. The business was not what I had been led to believe it would be, and buyer’s remorse was instant. It was while I was in this state of stress, and feeling a plethora of uncomfortable emotions, that I started to become more and more curious. How was I going to make decisions based on what is true and most useful for me? How could I pivot and find the best way through this new scenario, so different from what I had actually prepared for?

I am blessed with an active and creative mind, which is wonderful but also requires me to be mindful of staying grounded in the greater vision that I have for myself. After exploring many creative options and seeking professional advice about the company I now owned, I ultimately sought out meditation in order to find clarity. I was seeking to find an energetic path forward that felt congruent. The curious exploration began as I followed the stillness and the energy that meditation brought me. I had a lot of thoughts about how to turn the company around and move it forward; I also began noticing two distinct energies, one that felt proactive and had greater ease, and the other that felt heavy and limiting. Both had elements of creativity. The other great awareness I had during this expansive state came in the form of a question—namely, whether or not I would have even chosen to become an entrepreneur if I knew what I currently did.

Of course, I also had the typical thoughts of self-doubt (“Is this quitting?”, “Am I a failure?”, et cetera) running through my head like a checklist of judgments. I knew that these judgments are normal in our culture; I also knew that for many people they become the mindset from which they make their decisions—it is a mindset of ego, concern for reputation, limitation, and finite thinking. Thanks to my meditation practice—and perhaps some luck—I saw the trap and was able to avoid it. I didn’t know what came next, but I knew that continuing on this path with this nut shop was definitely not it. Shortly thereafter I sold the business with full disclosure to the new owners around what this opportunity held, and what it did not.

The following quote describes how wide-open curiosity led me through this part of my journey to arrive at my decision and move onward into the unknown.

“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Through reflection, I am reminded how beneficial deep inner listening is to the process of curiosity and how connected this is to finding clarity. This means paying attention to all the goings-on in the world around me through the filter of the actual relevance to my own core values, and being willing to see things differently. I came to understand that knowing is greater than blind hope and wishful thinking, and that the best knowing comes from within. When we listen with a curious mind, a mind that can engage with the infinite, we can move through the uncertainty of outer circumstances to truly live a more inspired life. ~ MJD